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My School
My school is in the east (東邊) of the city. It is very beautiful like a park. Let me show you around it.
The school gate faces south (南方). When you go into my school, you can find the school gym on your left. The lab building is behind the school building and the next is the students' dormitory (寢室). If the students' homes are far away from the school they can live here. Behind the gym there is a playground and a swimming pool. We have our P.E. lessons here. Between the sports area and the lab there is a garden with a lot of lovely flowers. The students' cafeteria (自助食堂) is in the corner near the students' dormitory.
There are more than one hundred teachers and two thousand students in the school. They are working hard. I like my school very much.
[點(diǎn)評(píng)]本文介紹作者自己的學(xué)校,是同學(xué)們都十分熟悉的題材,寫起來(lái)自然就比較得心應(yīng)手。本文的優(yōu)點(diǎn)主要體現(xiàn)在:①開頭寫得好,除了說(shuō)明學(xué)校的大體位置外,還點(diǎn)出學(xué)校的特點(diǎn)like a park。本段最后一句Let me show you around it.更是起到承上啟下的作用,自然引出下文。②介紹方位準(zhǔn)確。作者將學(xué)校的一系列建筑物的布局介紹得一清二楚,而且語(yǔ)言善于變化,如you can find the school gym on your left. ...is behind the school building and the next is...等等。③結(jié)尾自然,附帶介紹學(xué)校師生的情況,符合本文需要。④穿插語(yǔ)言增加亮點(diǎn)。作者在描述學(xué)校建筑的位置時(shí),不時(shí)穿插一些相關(guān)介紹,不但克服了語(yǔ)言的平淡,而且讓他人更好地了解這所學(xué)校。⑤語(yǔ)言通順,表達(dá)較為準(zhǔn)確�？傊�,本文是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。
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