Ever feel like you’ve gone and said too much? Again? Maybe you kill a joke or ruin a great moment. Foot in ze ol’ mouth.
是不是覺得自己又說太多了?也許你不經意就會毀了一個笑話,或是完全破壞了氣氛。要記住禍從口出吶。
Well listen up. And shut up. Not many people know it but shutting up can be the trump card in a lot of situations.
我們應該多聽,不該說話的時候學會閉嘴。不是每個人都知曉這一點,但沉默在很多場合下的確是最好的王牌。
Shutting up helps you appear wise and avoid conflict. In general, it can make life easier which it turn makes you a happier person. Here’s how and when to just shut up.
沉默會讓你更加智慧,避免紛爭?偠灾,它能讓生活更加簡單,讓你成為更快樂的人。下面將告訴你在什么時候應該學會沉默。
1) After an obviously erroneous statement
在別人發(fā)表明顯錯誤的言論后
We all get called out from time to time at the office and in social settings. But sometimes letting someone’s accusation linger in the air exposes its flaws. Sure you’ve got to defend yourself sometimes, but if someone takes a really stupid jab at you, and others notice, you might look stronger just saying nothing and chuckling instead. Let that person roast in their own stupidity.
我們時不時會被叫去辦公室(類似這樣的公開環(huán)境里)談話。有時任別人對你公開的指責往往能暴露他的缺陷。你當然可以辯解,但如果某人對你進行愚蠢的攻擊,其他人也注意到了,你倒不如保持沉默輕聲的笑一笑,這樣會讓你看起來更加強大。就讓那個人充分展現自己愚蠢的一面吧!
2) At the near-end of a joke
笑話的尾聲
No one likes the guy who kills a joke. Instead of asking, “wait what was that?” just play along with jokes and funny stories, even those you don’t fully understand, adding new information instead of beating the heck out of them. You’ll be more popular starting a joke than finishing it.
沒有人喜歡破壞笑話的人。與其問“等等,你剛才說了什么?” 不如假裝一直很享受這些笑話和故事,哪怕你根本沒聽懂,加點新信息進去,而不是徹底毀了這些笑話,這樣的幽默能讓你更加受歡迎哦。
3) When you’re the expert
你是專家時
Experts are reserved. They wisely interject their knowledge into a discussion. So when your friend or colleague sets you up saying “hey, he knows all about this” at dinner don’t feel like you have to pour out all your knowledge. No need to prove yourself. Instead, be reserved, say thanks, and give a concise, even self-deprecating summary of what you do. Try to act like you get congratulated all the time.
真人不露相。他們總是巧妙的把自己的知識插入討論之中。所以如果飯局上你的朋友或同事把你推出來說“嗨,他是這方面的專家,” 千萬別覺得你得把肚子里的知識全部倒出來。真的沒必要證實自己。不如隱藏一下,說句謝謝,對自己干的事情做一個簡潔謙遜的總結。要表現的自己像一直需要被鼓勵的人那樣。
4) When people are gossiping
大家在八卦時
People love gossiping and many of us can’t help it. It’s refreshing. It makes life seem a bit better. But the next time you hear gossiping, especially about your friends, try holding your tongue. Listen to what the gossiper is saying, it may reveal a lot about both parties. Instead of being like “yeahh, she is a b*$$#,” try saying “well, she’s trying her hardest” and see what the response is. Deny yourself that tiny pleasure from putting someone else down.
人們都愛八卦,這是大家沒法控制的事情。八卦能讓人精神振奮,似乎生活也變得更好了。但如果你聽到了一些八卦,尤其是關于你朋友的,還是閉上嘴吧。聽聽那些聊八卦的人在說什么,也許能讓你更加了解自己的朋友。與其說:“是啊,她真的很賤! 不如說:“我知道她已經很努力了”,看看別人的反應。別讓自己的小快樂建立在貶低別人的基礎上。
5) When asked about your love life
被問到感情生活時
How was last night? Did it go well wink wink? We’ve all heard these prying questions from roommates and friends and it’s fun boasting our conquests (especially when they’re few and far between). But you’re better off remaining mysterious. Keeping quiet about your hookups will make your admirers respect, and seek you out, even more. Only talk love life if you really need advice.
昨晚怎么樣?約會進展如何?我們的室友和朋友們往往會問出這樣窺探類的問題,炫耀自己的戰(zhàn)利品的確很有意思(尤其是TA們的確很出色的話),但你最好還是保持點神秘感。對自己的約會守口如瓶還能讓你的追求者們更加尊重欣賞你。等到實在需要建議時再談論自己的感情生活吧。
6) When under fire
矛盾激化時
Getting in trouble is a part of life and sometimes the person in power just needs to run through everything they’re upset about. Bosses yell, referees yells, our spouses yell. It does not always help to talk back. On the other hand, be silent and take the blows, then find a good time to say a concise sorry. Even if you’re not in the wrong. This will get you out of jail and on with your life a whole lot quicker.
人生總是難免遇到麻煩。有權利的人往往需要對所有讓他們失望的事發(fā)泄一下。老板在咆哮,裁判在咆哮,我們的另一半也在咆哮。其實并不需要去回應他們。不如保持沉默,一一承受,再找個合適的時機簡單說一句對不起,哪怕你沒有做錯。你就會脫離苦海,生活進展更快。
7) When congratulated
被祝賀時
A smooth and confident “thank you” is the best response to a congratulations. It’s true. Just saying thank you is enough. Don’t say “oh, well it was all him” or “yeah, I don’t know how I did it” or something equally blasé. Just be the man, say thank you, and go dominate your next conquest.
對于祝賀最好的回答莫過于一句“謝謝”。的確是這樣,說謝謝就夠了。不要說“這都是他的功勞” 或是“啊,我都不知道自己怎么做到的”,或是其他類似的話語。就紳士點,說句謝謝吧,然后向著自己下個目標進軍。
8) When some is divulging secrets
某人對你吐露秘密時
If you find yourself in a rare moment when someone in power or with useful information has decided to pour it out for you, please just listen. You’ll learn a lot. Understand how valuable the information is and store it away for use later on. A smile is all the response you need to give.
如果你發(fā)現自己身處一個特殊的場合,某個有權利的人或掌握有用消息的人突然對你傾訴,那就好好傾聽吧。你會學到很多東西。了解這些信息到底有多重要,然后自己消化以備以后的需要。這種情況下你只需要回饋一個笑容。
Shutting up is an art form. Spot these moments in advance and trust me, you’ll reap the silent benefits.
學會沉默是一門藝術。提前知曉這些該沉默的場合,相信我,你會從中受益良多。
9) When talking about money
談到錢的問題
Don’t mention your salary when others are bragging and don’t whine about being owed money. Lend to your friends, it’ll come back around. An aura of quiet confidence around money issues will help you someday find riches.
在別人吹牛時,別也跟著提及自己的薪水問題,更不要對借出去的錢發(fā)牢騷。借給你的朋友,他們總會還的。在錢的問題上保持沉默,這樣的自信總會有天讓你發(fā)現其價值所在。
10) In line at an event
排隊等候時
This one is specific, but I’ve noticed that those who wait patiently to get into a club or concert often get through faster than the loud mouths begging for entrance. Being loud and belligerent gets you nowhere and a quiet confidence makes it look like you belong.
這條比較特別,但我發(fā)現那些靜靜等候俱樂部或音樂會入場的人往往比那些吵吵鬧鬧的人們進去的要快。吵吵鬧鬧只會讓你找不到方向,安靜一點才讓你看起來真正屬于這里。