I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She goes to work by bike. After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boy? He is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. Hes now in Beijing. He goes there by plane. I love my family.
【要領(lǐng)點(diǎn)評(píng)】
一個(gè)平凡的題材，一篇生動(dòng)的作文。這樣的命題，我們可能面對(duì)幾次，甚至幾十次了。但這位小朋友的筆端很是靈巧，了了數(shù)言，讓一個(gè)幸福的家庭躍然紙上，很值得我們?nèi)ニ伎迹覀兡茏龅絾?
小朋友的這篇作文除了語言優(yōu)美之外，在結(jié)構(gòu)上也有閃光之處。先總說，將自己的家人逐個(gè)介紹一遍，后分說，把家人的工作、上班方式，愛好一一細(xì)說。最后以一句話進(jìn)行概括，起到點(diǎn)題的作用。我們?cè)趯戭愃频淖魑牡臅r(shí)候是不是也可以借鑒呢?